On Monday night, I saw Belle & Sebastian play their album Tigermilk at the Paradiso. An album I bought on cassette from the Music Exchange in Notting Hill Gate, on my way home from school.

At some point during The Boy With The Arab Strap — a song that namechecks a cock ring and features a recorder solo, and is a certified indie disco banger — I was on stage. Dancing. In front of 1,500 people. Not giving a single shit what any one of them thinks.

It’s my favourite song. I dance on stage to it every time they play it. It makes me unreasonably happy.

Because I’m 45, and I’m all out of fucks.

And then I did it all over again at the second Belle and Sebastian gig on Tuesday. And it was pure happiness. 10/10, cannot recommend enough.

The rest of the week looked a bit different. International Women’s Day was coming, and I had an idea to upgrade my now-traditional IWD antics.

In previous years, this meant a Google Form and a spreadsheet. Then, last year, a bit of pre-work with ChatGPT to take some of the legwork out. This year, I knew I could go further. With help from a few good men — male allies, doing the thing rather than just posting about it — we turned my vibe-coded idea into an actual functioning site. People nominate a company they think is saying one thing and doing another on IWD. Behind the scenes, AI does the research: gender pay gap data, leadership representation, discrimination and harassment cases in the news, flexible working policies, the works. All of it compiled automatically, so that I can focus on what I do best.

Being sarcastic on the internet.

By the time of writing (Sunday afternoon): 107 nominations from 10 countries. Everything from small businesses to massive multinationals. I’ve replied to every one that’s posted about IWD. Twenty-six replies posted, with more to come — I’ll be watching for stragglers all week.

The nominations themselves are something. I haven’t totted up the numbers yet, but the pattern is already visible: there’s less to reply to than in previous years. I wish that were progress. It isn’t. Companies are getting better at saying nothing — stepping back from DEI commitments, going quiet, calculating that silence is safer than scrutiny. The problems haven’t gone anywhere. The stories shared with me through the nomination form are heartbreaking and, frankly, enraging. Women underpaid, undervalued, quietly sidelined after maternity leave. Women dealing with harassment while their companies post pink graphics on LinkedIn.

Then there’s the other story — the one that sits alongside every single nomination. A woman who has serious concerns about her own company’s record, but feels more comfortable raising it with me, a stranger, than flagging it internally. I understand that completely. I was in exactly the same position when I was in-house. Raging privately about male colleagues being paid more and getting better bonuses. Feeling not just powerless to say anything, but certain that saying something would see me labelled a troublemaker.

Which brings me back to Monday night.

Belle & Sebastian played Tigermilk — the whole album, start to finish. One of the tracks is called “We Rule the School.” It’s about social hierarchy. It fades out on a repeated lyric: you know the world is made for men / you know the world is made for men / you know the world is made for men.

So there I am, dancing on stage, giving absolutely zero fucks. And I’m also entirely aware that not everyone can do that. That the system — the same one that underpays women, sidelines them, makes them afraid to speak — doesn’t particularly want me to either.

I’m lucky. I’m on the other side now. And I use that freedom, and this platform, for the people who aren’t.

Because we rule the school. Happy IWD, friends.

This week in photos